WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
