If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
