i jhust puked up my retainher.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
