Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
