But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
