Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
