My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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