How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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