I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
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