Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
vagina is talking i cant
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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