One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
