We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
