careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize