Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
