In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have aggressive nipples.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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