thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
