i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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