my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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