I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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