he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
