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so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
