i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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