So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
