You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
