East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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