I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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