The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
