Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
