Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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