Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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