The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
