she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
