I bet he comes in French.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you never un-have a 4some
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
