Don't you send me to vm
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
