I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize