She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have aggressive nipples.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
