all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
