Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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