I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
