She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
