ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize