I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My breasts were aching with rage.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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