i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
