you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i drank out of a bidet.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
