We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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