speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
