i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
