I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
