my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
