i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
