I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
