P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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