i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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