i used baking grease as lip gloss
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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