Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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