do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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