kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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