Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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