If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
